In the unlikely event you come to possess the remains of a sasquatch…
- Take pictures. TAKE SO MANY PICTURES. Full body shots, portraits, details of the hands, feet, genitals, the wound which dispatched the bigfoot (if it did not die of natural causes). Send these pictures to everyone. Put them all over the Internet. When people tell you they’re fake, POST MORE PICTURES. Don’t hold this kind of thing back - the world wants to know, and the more forthright you are, the more likely we are to believe you.
- Take multiple tissue/hair/blood samples. Send them out to any/every accredited research institution who’ll accept them. Universities, zoos, hospitals. If you’re paranoid the men in black are going to swoop in and steal the body, the more widely you distribute data, the harder it becomes for anyone to make it simply go away.
- Don’t worry about money. If you’re in it for the money, you’re in it for the wrong reasons. And, if you’ve done a lot of hard work to get your sasquatch, and are starting to think some monetary reward might be nice…don’t worry about it. The money will come later, not for the body itself, but for your experience - TV appearances, speaking engagements, book deals. But none of that will come if you try to make money off the body itself. So just stay focused on providing the evidence.
- Seriously, don’t be cagey, or secretive, or deceitful. Be honest and open and share information! So many people have dedicated their lives to this search, so many people have been haunted by the question, “Is it real?” it’s not fair to them to withhold this sort of revelation. Think of how you would feel, if you were in their position. You’d want to know the truth, too.
- If you can’t take the whole body (for obvious reasons), take the head. I know, gross. But just think…everything we know about Gigantopithecus comes from a few molars and part of a jaw. Imagine if we had the skull, and the brain! This can be used to establish the existence of a previously unknown species, whereas a hand or foot are much easier to dismiss.
- Wear gloves.